It’s difficult to find an original film in Hollywood these days. Remakes, sequels, and franchises have become a reliable box office success, and so Hollywood is comfortable with continually churning them out. It’s even harder to find original ideas. It’s always nice to see original intellectual property, but even those films often feel like they’re pulling large chunks and elements from other films. (For a recent example, see Joseph Kosinski’s Oblivion.) In this vein, Columbia decided to move forward with a remake of Total Recall, the 1990 science fiction classic starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. The result is a rather dull and lifeless affair that feels indistinguishable from its modern-day action counterparts.
Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell) is a factory worker living in The Colony, one of two habitable places left on Earth after chemical warfare leaves much of the planet decimated. He works in the United Federation of Britain, the only government left after the war. A resistance movement operates to improve life in The Colony. Quaid’s life is rather quiet; he lives with his wife of seven years, Lori (Kate Beckinsale). To add some interest, Quaid goes to Rekall, a company that can implant memories in your brain. While there, he discovers that he’s not exactly who he thinks he is, and as he works to uncover his true identity, he must balance the fate of the resistance and the woman (Jessica Biel) of his dreams. Literally.
Yes, I’ve seen the original Total Recall. Several times. I’m kinda a fan of it. Sure, it’s ridiculous and over the top. Yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger is pretty terrible. And yeah, there’s a mutant girl with three boobs (oh, the things these eyes have seen). But it keeps you on your toes, it doesn’t do anything you expect, and it gets into some seriously heady questions of science fiction. Do your memories really create your identity? If you lose your memory, then what does that mean for you as a person? What is your existence really made of? The ultra-violence is also pretty unforgettable. Frankly, the Total Recall of 1990 is a wholly unique experience.
The Total Recall of 2012 is not. The elements of the 1990 film are all there despite drastic changes in the plot mechanics. You’ve got Douglas Quaid trying to figure out who he really is. You’ve got his wife who’s not really what she seems. You’ve got another woman who shows up with some answers. You have some crazy character plot twists along the way. But what felt unique and different in 1990 (and even rewatching the original film) feels pretty dull and lifeless in the remake.
Everything just feels so perfunctory and obligatory. It’s like they went through the motions of making Total Recall, but they forgot to add the movie’s soul. I mean, there have certainly been a lot of updates for the special effects. There’s no mutant face in someone’s stomach this time around. The original Total Recall really felt like a mindbender; you weren’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. But this one never manages to get that kind of mystery or intrigue going. It all just feels so empty.
Also gone is the campy sense of humor. Now, a lot of that probably came from the fact that the original was a 90s Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie. But the remake takes itself way too seriously. I longed for something, anything to lighten the mood or the tone. I’m all for dark movies that take themselves seriously, but Total Recall does not earn that tone through its plot or through its story. It’s just determined to take itself as seriously as possible. And it had me really missing classic gems like, “Consider that a divorce,” or, “See you at the party, Richter!”
The actors all feel equally empty and lifeless. Sure, you’ve got a lot of famous names here with Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Bryan Cranston, and Bill Nighy. Everything and everyone feels phoned in. Kate Beckinsale probably fares best as Lori; she somewhat deliciously chews the scenery around her. It’s probably the most fun and over the top element of the movie. But the rest of the actors all showed up to take a paycheck. Yes, even Bryan Cranston. And I’m a huge fan of Breaking Bad.
The action is plentiful, and thankfully, it’s well-staged. Len Wiseman did a good job with the action in Live Free or Die Hard, and he does the same with Total Recall. The action is pretty continuous, but when everything around feels so vapid and shallow, the action suffers as a result. It’s all impressive to look at, but it’s little more than CGI eye candy. The action also feels pretty indistinguishable from any other action movie out there.
There’s practically an ocean of PG-13 bloodless action movies released every year. The original Total Recall set itself apart by being ridiculously and hilariously excessive with its blood and squibs. It’s practically like watching a Tarantino movie. But the remake feels declawed, defanged. They took everything fun from Total Recall, and this remake is the result. It’s disappointing to see such an entertaining, lively, and suprisingly thought-provoking science fiction action film remade in such a lifeless manner.
I will give the filmmakers credit for assembling all the pieces and elements of Total Recall. But its like each piece was tweaked slightly to make the film more accessible, dumb the film down, or develop any sense of identity or uniqueness. It’s a dull, empty, and lifeless affair that feels like we’re just going through the motions of something we’ve seen before. In a movie that should be all about finding your identity, Total Recall ironically has none.
Total Recall (2012) – C-
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